worst week ever..

monday night, my tita died very suddenly. it was out of nowhere. we just saw her a few weeks ago at a family party and now she's really gone. she had a stroke and was in a coma for a week. she didn't make it. i feel really bad for her family. it's too sad. the last memory i have with her was at the party and we were talking about sanitary napkins. it's rediculous how you see someone one day and then you never get to see them again. tonight is her wake. i don't know how i'm going to take it.. RIP tita. you and your family is in my prayers..

i am all cried out this week. i don't know what to do with myself anymore.. this is just so overwhelming and stressful. should i keep going with this or just forget it and do something new? i was at a breaking point. no matter how much i study, i fail. what's the point? i have test anxiety. i get sick when i'm stressed out and preparing for a test. i really don't know what to do anymore. and if i switch majors, what am i supposed to switch to? and i thought i had my life all figured out..

just live your life..

and that's exactly what i'm doing. i am honestly just loving every moment right now. i told you 2009 is gonna be good to me. i'm gonna start a few new resolutions (i know, we're in march already) and STILL keep the old. i'm still gonna wait for a boyfriend (an official one!) to be intimate with someone again. what i did a couple of months ago just got me in trouble and left me with nothing. i was losing my self respect, but i gained it back in january. i'm doing good and i'm really proud of myself, honestly. a new change that i'm gonna take is to go on a diet and this is for serious now. i've said this so many damn times before, but i look at myself in the mirror and i resemble a lechon. it's kind of disgusting. i'm also gonna start exercising although it's kind of hard for the next two weeks because of midterms and everything, but i'm gonna find the time. i'm doing this for me. i need a boost in my self esteem. i also need a better studying habit. i'm really not good at that thing. that's why i pretty much fail when it comes to tests and quizzes. i stay up in the late hours to study, but nothing sticks. i need some help, but i'll figure something out. i may be MIA until next wed, the 25th, because that's when my nursing clinical midterm is. i have so much to do in so little time. i haven't been doing much work over break. ugh! but can you blame me? when i'm on break, i like to relax. (side note: btw, vegas was amazing despite the fact that i'm not 21. i had the time of my life! i will def go there again and there's a possibility of moving out there after i graduate!) i had no work or no classes. i just wanna spend time on my own and with the ones i love since i don't see them too often because of my busy schedule. but that's what i'm gonna do. i need to break these bad habits.